The Etiquette Blunder Americans Often Make In French Restaurants Without Realizing

In France, food isn't just sustenance — it's an art form. From tucking in to flaky croissants that shatter delicately with every bite to ordering the perfectly crusty baguette, enjoying coq au vin with a glass of local wine, or simply nibbling on a macaron while people-watching from a café, French cuisine is the result of centuries of tradition and regional specialties that have cemented the country's identity as a global culinary capital. Whether in Paris or Provence, it's a cultural treasure that both locals and visitors alike appreciate –– especially as they hunt for neighborhood bistros, elegant brasseries, and Michelin-starred restaurants to experience dishes created with precision and respect for tradition.

That said, it's no surprise that mealtime in France is practically sacred, with established customs and dishes orchestrated by chefs who take tremendous pride in their creations. But while you might know to always chew with your mouth closed or wait for everyone to be served before eating, there's one vital rule that plenty of U.S. travelers tend to break without realizing its significance: Never ask for substitutions or modifications to menu items.

Although a seemingly innocent request that feels perfectly normal in American restaurants, asking to modify the way a dish is prepared can very quickly offend your French hosts. And, at the same time, brand you as an unaware or inconsiderate tourist who doesn't understand local dining culture.

In American restaurants, customization is normal and almost expected. Most diners are used to routinely requesting dressing on the side, swapping fries for salad, or even asking for additions and subtractions to standard menu items. And while this consumer-focused approach makes perfect sense in American culture — where individualism and personal preference reign supreme — the practice directly conflicts with French culinary philosophy.

Similarly to how asking for substitutions will drive Italian servers up the wall, French chefs see their dishes as complete creations where each ingredient serves a specific purpose that contributes to the overall flavor profile. So, when you request any modifications, you're essentially telling the chef you know better than they do about how the dish should taste. And, in a culture where food prep is practically considered an art form, this comes across as disrespectful to both the chef's expertise and French culinary tradition.

Ultimately, the rule is simple: If you don't want a dish as it's prepared, order something else entirely. Menu items that offer choices (like choosing from several side options) are perfectly acceptable to customize within those parameters. And, if the reason you're considering asking for a substitution is because of an allergy, make sure to communicate this clearly when making your reservation. Although legitimate allergies are taken seriously, preferences or comfort choices will likely receive less accommodation.

Beyond avoiding any menu modifications, there are several other table manners that you'll want to be aware of. For starters, always keep your hands visible by resting your wrists on the table edge and never hide them in your lap, as this hints at a lack of trust. Along with that, it's important to note that the French maintain proper posture while dining, and always bring food to their mouths rather than leaning toward their plates.

In terms of actually eating your food, bread etiquette might surprise you. Unlike what you might have experienced, the French typically place their bread directly on the tablecloth (not on their plate), tear it into bite-sized pieces rather than cutting it, and avoid using it as a pre-meal snack. Instead, bread's often a tool to help push food onto your fork. Additionally, cheese also has its own protocol to follow. First, remember that it's not an appetizer in France — it actually comes after the main course, and before dessert. If you do happen to share a cheese platter with others, make sure to take small portions of two or three varieties, and never grab the last piece on a shared platter.

Another common request that can be considered offensive in France is asking for a doggy bag or to-go container for leftovers. While this practice is pretty standard in the U.S., it suggests to French hosts that you're being overly frugal, or that you're not enjoying the dining experience. Plus, portion sizes in France are typically designed for a single sitting, not for leftovers. Some restaurateurs even worry about food safety, and they don't want to be held responsible for any issues that might come from improperly storing and reheating food outside of the restaurant.