One Unexpected Restaurant Etiquette Rule That Could Sour Your Dining Experience In Japan

Visitors to Japan who ascribe to the theory of eating with their eyes (or cameras) first may be in for a sudden awakening. That's because, despite the enthusiasm of the self-proclaimed foodies among us who can't bear to take a bite of their food without first chronicling its beauty in a social media post, photographing food in a restaurant (even if you've studied up on food photography) is considered a major faux pas in Japan. In fact, the very presence of a phone or camera on a restaurant table or countertop is off-putting at best. If you simply must photograph your food, be sure to ask the chef for permission first. And make it fast. Japanese food is often considered a work of art. Each dish is presented at the optimum moment for both presentation and taste. Letting it sit while you frame the perfect shot is considered rude and offensive.

It's all part of "mottainai," the Japanese term for honoring natural resources and expressing gratitude for Earth's bounty. In practice, that involves savoring each moment of dining and morsel of food without distraction. Being mindful of waste is another way to practice mottainai, so plan your meals carefully. Over-ordering is considered gauche. The goal is to honor your food by experiencing its appearance, taste, scent, and texture in the moment. And respect the chef's preparation by avoiding the temptation to add seasonings or condiments, including soy sauce in some situations.

To grasp the importance of mottainai and the practice of honoring food and its presentation, it may help to understand the Japanese concept of omotensashi. Rooted in Japanese tea culture, omotensashi calls for hosts (or chefs) to ensure every encounter is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. That involves putting full focus on guests and anticipating their every need. The concept derives from ichigo ichie, a Japanese phrase that means "one time, one meeting" or "one lifetime, one encounter." The gist is that no two experiences can ever be exactly the same, so perfection is of the utmost importance. In turn, guests are expected to be mindful, and respectful, of every moment. 

Renowned 16th-century zen master Sen no Rikyu ritualized the practice in the traditional Japanese tea ceremony by incorporating the principles of wa (harmony), kei (respect), sei (purity), and jaku (tranquility). To the uninitiated or unobservant, the nuances of omotenashi may go unnoticed. The practice comprises the little things that — one by one — create a memorable experience. In a restaurant setting, the chef and servers are keenly aware of guests' needs, providing comforts like offering hot or cold oshibori towels depending on the weather and seamlessly adjusting serving sizes to suit individual guests' appetites.

If it all seems a little too much — like facing a formal dinner place setting with an overwhelming array of cutlery in Western culture — it may be easier to remember the basic Japanese concept of avoiding "meiwaku," or inconveniencing others. In other words, just be polite. Keep your voice down. Respect the chef as a highly trained professional. Skip strong colognes or perfumes. The scent diminishes the impact of delicately and thoughtfully prepared food. It all comes down to respect and courtesy, or "hairyo," the Japanese custom of moving through life in a thoughtful and considerate manner.

The practice of hairyo is a cultural nuance intended to cultivate peace and harmony. Other elements of hairyo include punctuality. If you have a restaurant reservation, being on time means arriving at least five minutes early. Speaking of reservations, some restaurants in Japan decline to take reservations from would-be first-time guests. The surprising practice is rooted in practicality. Because the majority of dining venues are small by American standards — some have as few as eight seats — proprietors need to avoid potential no-shows. The workaround? Ask a friend for an introduction or enlist your hotel concierge to make a reservation on your behalf. If you're dining in a walk-in establishment and there's a queue lining up for a seat, be mindful of waiting patrons. It's rude to linger when people are waiting.

The proper use of chopsticks in Japan is another potential pitfall. Regardless of what you've heard to the contrary, do not rub chopsticks together before eating. That practice, acceptable in some countries, doesn't fly in Japan. It evolved as a method to remove wood splinters from chopsticks before eating, but in Japan it's a sign of disrespect, suggesting the provided utensils are of poor quality. In other chopstick news, avoid sticking chopsticks straight up in a bowl of rice. That's the way rice is offered to a recently deceased person to honor their passing. Remember the rule about photographing food? Always ask the chef for permission before brandishing your phone or camera. It's also good practice to express a few standard courtesies to the chef who is painstakingly preparing your meal. A simple konnichiwa (good day) or konbanwa (good evening) goes a long way. And at the end of your meal, be sure to thank the chef with a heartfelt "gochisosama."