The Unspoken Etiquette Rules For Bringing Your Child's Friend Along On Your Family Vacation

Like it or not, kids grow older. The infant you could take anywhere outgrows the shoulder carrier. The toddler learns words — and how to complain about boring museums. The kindergartner you drag into exotic new restaurants will refuse any food that isn't chicken nuggets. So it goes, trip by trip, until your tween is tall, devours everything, and rolls eyes with the best of them. Suddenly, you miss those good old days, when your child was joined to your hip, doing everything you did, because what other option was there?

Enter your child's bestie — a friend who loves to share every moment with your teen, who could talk with your child all day, who shares slang and pop culture you couldn't begin to comprehend. You, dear parent, may have to accept your silver-medal status, especially on road trips when all a teen wants is beloved company. As vacation approaches, you face a critical decision: Should you bring your teen's bestie with you?

This dilemma sounds quaint, but it's a serious responsibility. With any living, breathing minor comes all the baggage (literal and figurative) of inheriting another child. You may follow all the tips for surviving family vacations, but this additional friend will have needs and wants, dietary preferences, and medications of varying degrees. You may know your child's friend well, but travel takes everyone out of their comfort zones. You know how impactful travel with children can be, but the friend may throw off your usual family rhythm. And remember the unspoken rule: You may be expected to pay for everything.

The most important thing is to communicate with parents beforehand: What does this friend need? What parts of the trip will each family pay for? Fox News recently told the story of a mother who received a bill from a family that hosted her daughter on vacation. The itemized list included a fraction of the car rental and accommodations, among other things. That may sound extreme, but finances should be clearly discussed beforehand, to avoid later surprises.

The same goes for behavior: Each family has its own rules — about language, tech, food, and bedtimes — and these should be communicated as well as possible. Make clear how your own family operates, and what expectations will be. That said, it's impossible to know everything about a friend's normal freedoms and limits. You may have to adjust your own rules, or else enforce rules that the friend isn't accustomed to. The best way to go is to bring a child's bestie you know well already who comes from a family you're close with.

Traveling with your teen's friend can be fun and beneficial; they'll likely entertain and accompany each other, giving you time and space for your own interests. Your teen may also be happier, feeling freedom and connection. If all goes well, the whole family — and bestie — will enjoy much of the experience together, too engaged by the people and environment to get bored or fractious. To maximize those odds, check out the internet's most exciting European destinations for adventurous families.