The Social Etiquette Norm In France That Catches Tourists Off Guard

Every country has its own way of communicating. In the U.S., you might greet someone with a warm hug, while the French are more likely to dole out pecks on the cheek. French etiquette also demands you say "bonjour" to almost everyone, and locals hate it when you break this unspoken rule. Politeness is king. But one way of communicating in France appears a lot less demure and often catches tourists off guard: the French love to take part in a heated debate.

This passion for arguing isn't reserved for political arenas or academic settings. You're just as likely to see a group of friends loudly batting arguments back and forth in a restaurant as you are to see politicians or journalists doing it on TV. If you're visiting France and you come upon a table of shouting French people, you might be tempted to run the other way –– assuming things are about to kick off.

Overhearing impassioned arguments can be especially jarring when you don't speak French. But while an argument is a sign of conflict in many cultures, in France, it's often just a sign of a great conversation. This culture of debate is one of the many things that make France the most exciting country to visit in Europe.

The French love of spirited debate is deeply rooted in the culture, from philosophers like Descartes and Voltaire to 17th- and 18th-century salons — social gatherings where people from a variety of backgrounds gathered to discuss art, philosophy, and politics. This tradition lives on, and French people may even bring up arguments they disagree with in the spirit of continuing a debate. For tourists, this can be a surprising experience. Aren't we supposed to avoid conflict? Not in France!

If you'd like to join in a debate in France, here are a few things to remember. First, get involved, but don't take arguments personally. You're expected to defend your position or play devil's advocate in France. It's rude not to! As one Redditor in the r/Paris subreddit forum put it, "Every French person that I know loves a good debate. They can argue about anything, and they get kind of insulted when Americans shrug their shoulders and say, 'Yeah, I don't know.'" Debating is a way of life, not a personal attack.

As for the subject matter, both money and religion tend to be taboo, though other spicy topics like politics are often fine. You may want to start by just debating which Parisian boulangerie is the best — and bring up the trick you know to order the best baguettes there. After all, it seems the French can argue about anything.