A Common American Response To 'Thank You' Is Considered Extremely Rude Everywhere Else

This is one of the most basic exchanges in the English language: Someone says, "Thank you!" The other person replies, "You're welcome!" There are loads of other popular options as well: "My pleasure!" "No problem!" "Sure thing!" "You got it!" "Don't mention it!" "Absolutely!" "Of course!"

But there was a recent flareup on TikTok about how younger Americans sometimes respond to "thank you." These videos were produced by Australians who had spent time in the United States and were baffled by a growing trend: the mumbled "mm-hm." This ambivalent-sounding, non-verbal expression came off as rude, raising hackles among the Aussie visitors. Similar was the dismissive sounding "Okay," the conversational equivalent of hitting a brick wall. As one @tilly_hokianga put it: "I just said, 'Thank you.' Like, say 'you're welcome.'"

Here we go again — the stereotypical "rude Americans" can't even behave correctly in their own country despite interacting with guests who speak the same language. But are Gen Zers actually being rude? Is the intention to rankle visitors and make them (literally) not feel welcome? Or is the language simply evolving, along with expectations?

But really, you are welcome!

The common retort to these TikTokers was that people often weaponize the phrase "you're welcome," and it can come off as sarcastic, passive-aggressive, or overly formal to young Americans. Actually, try saying any of the expressions in the first paragraph of this post in an ironic tone and hear how it perfectly backfires. The general consensus is that "mmhmm" or "okay" weren't intended to be rude; the Gen Z set just doesn't require much articulation.

There might be other explanations as well: The TikTokers are discounting regional expressions, like Pennsylvania's long-accepted "That's okay," New York's "Forget about it," or the Southeastern "Yes, sir" that sound strange even to visitors from other parts of the U.S. Meanwhile, Americans have a reputation for being loudmouths — er, extremely chatty and gregarious — and an understated response doesn't match this stereotype. Then there's just not knowing other people's sensitivities: The same way travelers may annoy German waitstaff by their manner of tipping, or Westerners may horrify Japanese hosts by blowing their nose in public, intoning the multi-syllabic "you're welcome" instead of "mmhmm" may unwittingly offend.

Australians may take comfort in hearing that Americans have adopted the phrase "no worries." As recently as the 1990s, few Americans would ever have uttered this distinctly Australian phrase with a straight face or even have heard of it. Today, it's widely said and accepted. Thank you — and you're welcome.