What Travelers Need To Know About Public Displays Of Affection In India

India. Just the name conjures images of gleaming palaces, ornate temples, fragrant cuisine, vivid colors, and a culture so rich that it has long acted as a magnet for travelers keen to dive in deep. From the Taj Mahal and Delhi's Red Fort to underrated cities that are perfect winter destinations, this vast South Asian country of nearly 1.5 billion people has no shortage of attractions. It's also a bubbling melting pot of ethnic groups, languages, customs, and religions, and this depth of diversity only adds to its allure. Most anyone who spends any amount of time in India comes back transformed.

India is indeed an intoxicating place, and part of this stems from just how different things are there. While this can sometimes result in culture shock, it's also important to keep in mind that this is a two-way street. Visitors to India impact the locals as well. As a traveler, you are a guest in their country, and if you inadvertently violate any widely accepted social norms, it can leave a sour taste in the mouths of your hosts.

While there are many ways to be a respectful tourist when visiting India, you're guaranteed to stay on the locals' good side by limiting any public displays of affection (PDA). While Indians are warm people who also express their love in physical ways, the rules are quite different than in Western countries, so it's best to err on the side of caution.

While it's impossible — not to mention foolish — to paint all Indians with a wide brush, it's safe to say that much of the country remains socially conservative. This especially goes for PDA, which many consider taboo. While holding hands won't likely attract stares, hugging, kissing, and any kind of heavy touching may be met with dirty looks and even public castigation. It's considered really bad form, and some people won't be shy about speaking up when they see it.

Excessive PDA could also potentially land you in legal hot water. While not technically illegal, police have used the nation's obscenity law to go after some offenders. There was even a case where a crowd of people beat a young couple seen engaging in PDA on a Kolkata subway. While these responses are extreme, they should tell you all you need to know about just how seriously some Indians take the issue.

There are cultural reasons why so many Indians deeply frown on PDA, though it likely comes down to one key point. "For them, PDA only means one thing — sex," says journalist Nishi Jain in MensXP. "Physical intimacy has no other function. For them, a hug is not a warm expression of fondness towards another; a hug is a precursor to sex, an action performed only behind closed doors at night."

While awareness of local attitudes regarding PDA is necessary when traveling in India, like anywhere else in the world, the perception may differ massively between urban and rural locales. People in cosmopolitan places like New Delhi or Mumbai will likely give a bit of physical flirtation more of a pass than folks in more isolated locations. That said, there are no guarantees, so it's wise to keep things modest wherever you find yourself. 

When it comes to LGBTQ+ travelers, India is generally very tolerant. Mumbai is the country's gay capital — it even has its own sizable Pride Parade — and even outside the Bollywood city, it's rare to face overt discrimination when traveling as a same-sex couple. That said, there may be more eyes upon you than you're used to, so avoid overt acts of physical affection as much as possible, just as any straight couple should.

Despite the deeply conservative mores ruling modern India, some people are pushing back. In Mumbai, couples have taken to the parks to release a bit of passion, and some — like Indian academic and politician Shashi Tharoor for NDTV — argue that open physical ardor is a deep part of the culture going back thousands of years. Whatever the case, just use a bit of common sense, which in most cases means restraining passions until the hotel doors are closed.