Flight Attendant Reveals Why This Is Always The Best Time To Poop On A Plane
While nobody wants to poop at high altitude in a cramped toilet, when you've got to go, you've got to go, especially on a long-haul flight. If you need to do it, there is a strategy that can make it easier to go without getting stuck behind the drinks trolley or being obvious to your fellow passengers. Former flight attendant Erika Roth told Mel Magazine that the best time to poop on a plane is when you're in the air and once the seatbelt sign is off, but before the drinks trolley comes around. That way, you won't get stuck behind the trolley, and there is less likely to be a line.
If you're on a short journey, she recommends avoiding doing your business if you can help it, as smells can quickly permeate inside the plane. It's also vital to avoid taking too long in there, as after about 20 minutes, attendants will need to knock on the door to check that you're ok and not up to no good! However, there are several hacks you can use to make your airplane toilet experience better.
Preparation is everything
To soak up smells, Roth recommends asking an attendant for a bag of coffee grounds to hang in the restroom while you poop. This will help control the odor and make the reason behind your toilet trip less obvious (the person you asked for the grounds will know, of course). You may be tempted to spray an aerosol to cover smells, but this can set off the sensitive smoke alarms in the toilet. Country singer LeAnn Rimes discovered this when she sprayed dry shampoo and set off the siren on a flight she was on.
The most important toilet hack on a plane is to avoid picking up and spreading germs, as several people may use the facility. Plane bathrooms are thoroughly cleaned and disinfected after each flight and checked around every 30 minutes by a flight attendant. However, "checked" does not mean "cleaned," and depending on the plane and where you sit, you could be sharing the bathroom with up to 80 people.
One way to avoid picking up bugs on a plane is to take a small pack of disinfectant wipes with you that you can use to clean any surfaces before you touch them. Another flight attendant, Toni, writing on her blog A Wheel In The Sky, has a warning about disinfectant wipes. Never throw them in the toilet! They can block the system, causing problems for all and embarrassment for you.
Going about your business
You might think that avoiding sitting would be more hygienic, but you do not want to squat in an airplane bathroom. A tiny bit of turbulence could lead to disaster. Flight attendant Toni recommends using a lavatory seat cover or lining the seat with toilet paper. Then, keep going with the T.P. and line the bowl, too. This will prevent any remnants from being left behind after you flush. But again — be careful not to block the toilet by using too much paper! Then, you're good to go, so to speak.
But there's more. You may want to flush during the act and afterward to ensure everything will go down. This advice is slightly controversial because of the phenomenon known as "toilet plumes." when you flush, harmful germs can be pushed into the air if you don't put the seat down. However, if you're covering the bowl with, well, yourself, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Finally, always, always wash your hands. Soap up liberally, and use a paper towel or tissue to open the door when leaving. Use hand sanitizer once you're outside the bathroom to finish off.
Other airplane hacks
Before you use your tray table, disinfect that, too, because this may be another place where germs lurk. As you'll be eating off it, you want to be sure there are no sickness-causing bugs on there. One flight attendant-approved hack to get your meal faster while on a plane is to order a special meal, which usually arrives before the regular meals. This works well if you're a hungry traveler, so you can rest after eating. Also, if you're experiencing tummy rumbles, a special meal gives you more control over what you'll eat.
Wearing a hooded sweatshirt for a long flight will keep you warm and give you a bit of privacy when you sleep. This is especially useful on busy flights and may also help muffle some of the background noise. Another hack that can make your economy flight more comfortable is taking a travel phone holder. It is helpful as you can clip to the seat in front to watch shows if you don't have personal in-flight entertainment included. Now that you know all these hacks, your flights will be more stress-free than ever before!